By the fall of 1969 our family life had changed dramatically. Grandpa Greenley had died In October, Dale was in the army, serving in Korea. Ross had just joined the Navy. And Susie was in Eugene, working at Ford's Restaurant and going to school. One significant event was kept a secret for about 20 years.
Susie came home in the fall to tell Mom and Dad she was pregnant. Here is the entry from her diary:
 |
| Susie and Marianne October 1969 |
She was about 4 1/2 months pregnant when this picture was taken in October, on the day of our Grandfather's funeral. Susie's friend Brenda Carr helped her arrange for her to live with friends in Las Vegas, Nevada, She left for Las Vegas the first week of December.
As a family we were told Susie wanted to focus on her art while spending time with friends in Las Vegas. She gave birth to a baby boy on February 27, 1970. (Two days after our father's 49th birthday). She would give him up for adoption. In her bible, I found a note in which she had written the name Robert Allen Greenley with his birth date.
Susie was killed in a car accident just four years later in December of 1974. We didn't discover of her son's existence for several years as mom continued to honor the promise she had made, to keep Susie's secret.
In 2018, Susie's son found us. He had his DNA done with Ancestry - as I had done - and he reached out via email. Receiving that email ranks as one of highlights of my life.
 |
| Kevin Pelton - Susie's son |
His name is Kevin Pelton, and he lives in Shreveport, Louisiana. He has a son, Cameron.
The first thing that struck us was the resemblance to our father. When our mom met him one of her first comments was, "You look like Bob, but you have brown eyes instead of blue" (Mom's mind was in decline by this time, so that flash of awareness was exceptional.)
He works in construction as a paint contractor, so does similar work as our dad. In Kevin, we felt like we had been given a huge gift delivered by our father and our sister.
Meanwhile, back in 1969, Changes Continue
The fall and winter of 1969 - 1970 found more changes in our lives. Dad had gotten a big contract to do the finishing work on a new motel on the coast. He would spend the work week on the coast, and come home for the weekends. So it was just Mom, Lance (age 8) and me (12).
We had a scare right before Christmas. Mom got up in the morning, as usual, went out to get the newspaper. She slipped on the ice, and fell and hit her head. She was able to get up and go to my room to wake me up. She told me she had fallen. I could tell there was something seriously wrong. I ran to a neighbor's house to get help (Dad was at the coast working). I don't remember the particulars after that - I do remember she had a spinal tap done - and she was horribly sick after that. But she recovered without last ill effects.
The spring and summer of 1970 found our lives shifting again. Susie returned to Oregon in March, and started back to college in Eugene. This time full time, so she could finish her degree. In July, Dale was discharged from the army, and was making plans to return to Corvallis to finish his degree. Ross was in the navy, stationed at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Dad had finished his work at the coast.
 |
| Marianne, Lance, Kathy, Tom, Russell Spring Vacation - 1970 |
The four of us (Dad, Mom, Lance and myself) did a lot of traveling that spring and early summer. Spring Vacation we went to see Uncle Bill and Aunt Lois in Milton-Freewater, Oregon ... and had fun with our cousins Russell, Kathy and Tom. We also went to Montague to visit Uncle Everett and Aunt Mary with their four boys, Alan, Rex, Gordie, and Jimmy.
In June, we went to Crater Lake. Then another trip we visited the lava beds at Dee Wright Observatory in central Oregon. And of of course, another trip to the coast. We still lived in Oregon after all. But things were about to change.
 |
| Dee Wright Observatory - Mom and Dad |
 |
| Dee Wright Observatory - Marianne and Lance |
 |
| Dee Wright Observatory - Dad and Lance |
 |
| Mom, Dad, Lance - somewhere at the coast |
 |
| Lance, Dad, Marianne - somewhere at the coast |
 |
| Lance at Crater Lake |
Changes can sneak up on us, and I'm sure we missed some of the earlier, smaller signs. One evening that I'll never forget, Dad and I were home alone, watching TV. He was smoking a cigarette. I noticed that the ash had fallen, and his chair was burning. But I couldn't get him to respond to the smoldering fabric. It was all I could do to get him to stand up so I could put the fire out. When I got close to him, he smelled bad -- and I said he should go take a shower. Which he did ... but he went into the shower, and then didn't get out. I was frantic. I waited until Mom got to tell her to get Dad out of the shower.
 |
| Lance (age 2) helping Dad mechanic |
 |
| Paige and Ryan's wedding: Autumn, Karl, Ryan, Paige, Dodge, Ray |
 |
| Kevin and Cameron |
 |
| Missy, Leianna, James, Logan, Guinevere, Cole, Miles, Jonathan, Ray |
 |
| Karl, Ethan, Liam, Ross |
 |
| Ralph Greenley |
The pic with Karl et all was taken on our birthday (Liam and I) 2019. Actually a couple of days before, but close enough.
ReplyDeleteDale and I just missed each other, musta been July '70. He was out and home from Korea the day AFTER I left for Gtmo.
ReplyDeleteI had not realized that. I remember Dale coming home on the bus. I think we met him at the station. Didn't realize this was when you left for Gitmo
DeleteThink of it, Dad pretty much completed a bucket list of Oregon in '70 The trips mentioned here along with our fall of '69 hunting trip to his old eastern Oregon stomping grounds. Did he somehow "know" something?
ReplyDeleteInteresting - I had not thought of this. I didn't remember the hunting trip (I do remember the deer hanging in the garage.) I did not realize how many places we had gone that year until I looked through the pictures and saw the dates.
DeleteWhen I was home on leave Jun-Jul '70 dad seemed like dad, I saw no signs of this tumor. I recall in a conversation with Wayne and I he made a comment that struck me as not dad, I attributed it to him acknowledging that Wayne and I were adult. It was mid August when I received a message to go to the Red Cross. This was never good news, I figured Grandma Becker had passed and went in pretty unconcerned. Then the ton of bricks fell and I was on my way home.
ReplyDeleteRoss - It is good to hear you didn't notice anything off about Dad. I've wondered if we could have done something sooner ... but I think by the time symptoms appeared - it was too late.
DeleteOne thing that can't be stressed enough is how much Dad loved to hunt. He started taking me with him early on, as soon as I was old enough to keep up with him in the woods. Even at that age I knew that I was hunting with him because he wanted me there, and not just because I wanted to go with him. Through my Explorer Post, Dad became good friends with "Chub" Church. (ironically, just a few weeks ago while researching Newspapers.com, I accidently stumbled on a newspaper article that revealed Dad and Chub received their draft notices on the same day) For several years Chub had invited Dad to go on a horseback pack-in hunting trip into the Blue Mountains in Eastern Oregon. Dad was dying to go, it was his "dream trip" but just couldn't swing it financially. 1970 found Dad solvent for the first time so he and Chub were making plans for the trip in Oct. 1970. Dad had an old Weaver 4 power scope on his rifle and in one of the tapes they sent me in Korea, he mentioned how much he'd like to upgrade his scope but just couldn't justify spending a lot of money to replace something that had worked just fine for years. As surprise, I bought him a high-quality 3x-9x variable power scope for him from the PX in Tokoyo. That and a good Seiko watch for Mom were my surprise gifts for them when I got home. Not only did he never get to put it on his rifle, he died while Chub was on the hunt Dad was supposed to be on. Chub later told me how bad he felt because he was off on Dad's dream trip during the funeral.
ReplyDeleteWhen I arrived at the Roseburg Greyhound Depot about 8am 14July1970, Mom was working so Dad was supposed to pick me up. An hour and a half later I was still waiting while my pay phone calls home went unanswered. (No such thing as answering machines or cell phones then.) By chance, Don Howell, the little brother of my fishing partner Joe Howell, drove by and saw me standing on the corner. He was headed for Joe's and took me there. Joe took me home to an empty house so I dug out my fly rod and Joe and I headed up the river. I celebrated my first day home with a beautiful, fly-caught North Umpqua Steelhead from the Lower Archie Pool. I came home to find out that Dad had forgotten I was coming home that day in spite of my phone call the night before saying I was at Ft. Lewis and the bus to Roseburg had just pulled up. That was my first sign that something was wrong. I knew there was no way that the Dad I knew would have forgotten that I was coming home from Korea. Over the next couple of weeks, there were ample signs that I won't go into here, but Mom and I interpreted them as mental problems. When we finally did get an appointment for him, Mom was working so I was supposed to take him. I liked to never get him in the car. I couldn't get him to get out of the chair and he was too big to carry. I finally got him loaded up but was an hour late for the appt. with Dr. Johnson, our family Doctor. After the appt. I was really disappointed that Doc Johnson just handed me a handful of Adventist flyers and gave Dad another appointment for some tests. He didn't say anything to me but now I realize he knew it wasn't a mental problem. I don't recall the next appointment, but it was from there that they put Dad on an ambulance to Eugene for emergency surgery. I can never forget the feeling standing in the hall outside the surgery when the surgeon, Dr. Gold came out and gave us the news that there COULD be a TEMPORARY recovery. His way of saying he was going to die. Ross is right, we had no way of knowing ahead of time. As the tumor disabled part of a lobe, the other lobe would take over. It wasn't until the tumor got into the other lobe and disabled a function that was also damaged in the first lobe that the signs began to appear. They can remove one lobe, with resulting consequences, but as soon as it crosses into the other lobe and symptoms appear,all hope is gone.